female trubble
0
i do believe that part of my day today shall be spent watching female trouble, then the christmas episode of my so-called life.
i picked my "dad" up at the hospital today. he seems to be making a habit out of being released from the hospital just before major holidays. we'll see what new year's brings.
i'm fighting the urge to be typical, because i always feel the need to be typical around this time of year. this morning on facebook, a former classmate announced that he and his wife are expecting. that's something that'd usually make me feel shitty for being atypical, for being unable to get there. at the very least, it'd start me down that path. but it's nothing that's ever going to work out for me. it's not a possibility, and i've realized there's no point in feeling depressed over something that's never going to happen.
and i'm not going to feel sad or depressed that christmases with my mom are never to be again. i have great memories. it was her favorite time of the year, but, again, it's never to be, so why be sad about it?
i just want to feel like i belong. and i do. i am as worthy as any other motherfucker out there.
i deserve to be loved. even if it's not by you.even if i never experienced it from
nope. not going there. i have the power. i have the power. i have the power to change. i have the power to change the course. i have the power to change the course of my life.
there's no point in crying over mistakes. mistakes are for learning. it's just too bad we spend our lives learning to be. to be. to be. that's it. just to be. and then we're gone.
maybe there's some eternal or after-life kinda reward for those who've strived to grow, to evolve. maybe death, for those of us, just leads to the next part of the evolution.
this is not a new year's resolution. this is simply growth. i'm not going to make decisions (any decisions at all) based upon the perceived desires of others. my decisions, from this point forward, are going to be made for my sake. for the sake of my happiness. or at least i'll do the best i can.
i need to be easier on me.
i picked my "dad" up at the hospital today. he seems to be making a habit out of being released from the hospital just before major holidays. we'll see what new year's brings.
i'm fighting the urge to be typical, because i always feel the need to be typical around this time of year. this morning on facebook, a former classmate announced that he and his wife are expecting. that's something that'd usually make me feel shitty for being atypical, for being unable to get there. at the very least, it'd start me down that path. but it's nothing that's ever going to work out for me. it's not a possibility, and i've realized there's no point in feeling depressed over something that's never going to happen.
and i'm not going to feel sad or depressed that christmases with my mom are never to be again. i have great memories. it was her favorite time of the year, but, again, it's never to be, so why be sad about it?
i just want to feel like i belong. and i do. i am as worthy as any other motherfucker out there.
i deserve to be loved. even if it's not by you.
nope. not going there. i have the power. i have the power. i have the power to change. i have the power to change the course. i have the power to change the course of my life.
there's no point in crying over mistakes. mistakes are for learning. it's just too bad we spend our lives learning to be. to be. to be. that's it. just to be. and then we're gone.
maybe there's some eternal or after-life kinda reward for those who've strived to grow, to evolve. maybe death, for those of us, just leads to the next part of the evolution.
this is not a new year's resolution. this is simply growth. i'm not going to make decisions (any decisions at all) based upon the perceived desires of others. my decisions, from this point forward, are going to be made for my sake. for the sake of my happiness. or at least i'll do the best i can.
i need to be easier on me.
More about the phenomenal author
I don't know how to get over someone as dangerous, tainted, and flawed as you. You're screwed up and brilliant, look like a million dollar man. So why is my heart broke?
0 comments:
Post a Comment