i miss you.
i wish what was broken could be fixed.

Time, Truth and Heart

says it all....

a dream tha's not happening

i woke up not long ago, and there's a dream i had that's still very fresh in my mind. because of its relevance, not totally because of its content. i dreamed that i had the opportunity to find him again and to contact him. i did, and we talked. i asked him why, and his response was that it was mostly the mother of his son that convinced him it was the right thing to do. he has a son? yup. forget the deceit that would have been involved in such a transgression. it's someone else's ability to have a natural family that really fucked with my mind. i begged him to come see me. only if i'd stop being so emotional. okay. he said he'd come monday. he didn't.

i dunno.... it's the bullshit we face in society as gay men. not gay women. gay women are women. they're fine. they're acceptable. but jesus fucking christ, there's no community support, no LEGAL support, no "NATURAL" support to fucking hold two men together, no matter how much you love!!! i'm so motherfucking sick of hiding! i'm so motherfucking sick of the LAW OF OUR COUNTRY not protecting me like it does everyone else (and yet i'm still expected to pledge my alligiance?)! i'm sick of bible thumping retarded fucks who can pick up enough religion only to hate! i'm so fucking sick of bible thumping retards who can never seem to look into a goddamned motherfucking mirror! if jesus were god-like, if there were a god who gave a shit, i cannot imagine him/her/it putting up with this shit for so mother fucking long!? why the hell would you allow so much EVIL to continue in YOUR NAME??????

slow goodbye

slow goodbye
by lesley roy

I can read the lines
On your face
And they're telling me
Everything I already know
Yeah
I hold you in my arms
But you're light-years away from me
Slowly sinking
Under alone
Yeah
So I act cool
On the outside
But it's eating me
Alive
Cuz when it comes to you
There's nothing I can do
I can't make you love me
When you don't
I see it in your eyes
All the compromise
I can't take another second
Slow goodbye

Sitting in the park
After dark
Smoking cigarettes
Biting on the black of my nails
Cuz all I ever wanted
Was what you took away from me
Trying to make it right
But it's too late
I'm a hopeless case
On the inside
And it's eating me
Alive

Cuz when it comes to you
There's nothing I can do
I can't make you love me
When you don't
I see it in your eyes
All the compromise
I can't take another second
Slow goodbye

I die
A million times
Every time when you
Look me in the eye
Die
Cuz I've heard it all before
The same game
Going around and around
But I still end up with nothing
But hurting

Cuz when it comes to you
There's nothing I can do
I can't make you love me
When you don't
I see it in your eyes
All the compromise
I can't take another second
Slow goodbye
Yeah
There's nothing I can do
I can't make you love me
When you don't
I see it in your eyes
All the compromise
I can't take another second
Slow goodbye