Shelby Sue

chocolate

i had another revealing dream last nite, one that witnessed to what i really feel inside. i saw it on oprah, and i had an a-ha moment in my sleep. i think dreams are our feelings ripped apart down to their bare bones. what i felt in my dream is hiding under layers of numb. then i had another dream this morning after nick left, and i'm now considering another probable truth.

i have so fucking much to do, and i hate having so much shit to do on a day off. i have to wash bed clothes. i have to dry colored clothes. i have to put that shit away. i have to water the plants on the front porch. i have to clean the litterbox. i have to work on a couple posts for my master's work. i have to write a paper that's due tomorrow. i have to do lots and lots of end-of-the-year stuff because this coming week is the last week of school! =)

exactly two weeks from now, we'll be driving in our cars on our way to sa-va-nnah! driving with our friends on our way to sa-va-nnah! that happy makes me!

Beau's Little Sister

Shelby. =)

yay!

I have officially submitted my first APA-formatted paper to the professor of my first class of my Master's program. Procrastination slowed me down some, but I made it! Now I just have to get ready to teach the children this week.... (Only two full weeks left!)

What else? My big accomplishment this morning was getting some blood work taken care of. My first doctor's appointment in years took place in March, and my doctor prescribed a couple medications for a couple issues, and she also ordered some blood work. I put the blood work off until this morning, and I am so glad it's over! My follow-up doctor's appointment (to see how the meds are working, etc.) is scheduled for next week so I couldn't very well put off the blood work for much longer any way.

Now I am going to do some housework and perhaps fix dinner, if I can find something fixable. Until next time: Touch yourself lots!

i'm back

okay.... i got ahold of one of my moms who's also a very good friend of my very good friend, and she's on her way to columbus. she's hoping to get to see our friend. =) it sounds like she's going to be okay. she's recovered the memory she apparently lost shortly after the accident, and i think she's about to be released from the icu. anyway.... i know that if you're reading this, you probably don't know her, but please think good thoughts for her. she's a really awesome human being who's doing countless things to make the world a better place.

OMG

i just sat down to write about my amazing progress, but i got sidetracked reading some of my very old posts. (someday i want to figure out my blogger "anniversary" date. it can't be too far away from ten years.) anyway.... my cell phone rang, and i didn't get to it in time to answer it (or else i didn't want to talk to the person who was calling) so the caller left a message. it was another teacher from my school, telling me that my very good friend fell while roller blading last nite and she fractured her skull. scary stuff. i need to try and find my friend's husband's cell number to see if a can get ahold of him to find out what's going on.

my accomplishments about which i was going to write seem to pale in the shadow of my dear friend's injury.

i'll just have to tell you later.

Cephie Marie

i don't ever recall having had a series of dreams that were thematically tied together as last nite's dreams were.

in my first dream, my (now-deceased) grandmother brought me (as a child) to my parents' home, but the home had been caught in the middle of renovation, and parts of the house was missing. i became very angry at my parents for providing such shoddy shelter, and so i ranted and i raved.

in my second dream, i was again a child and my mom was just returning from a trip she'd taken by herself. she returned with long, black hair. (my mom has ever had long hair.) she had returned with an altered appearance. her lip and her eyebrow had been pierced, and she alluded to the fact that she had other peircings as well. it also seemed that she'd been having some sort of lesbian love affair that had percipitated her evolution into this new person. again, i was very angry at my mom for not being the person i needed her to be.

in my third dream, i was once again an adult. nick and i lived in a different apartment than we do now, but we still had a roommate. i don't remember who the roommate was, but nick was telling this roommate all about the day he'd just had, and he was showing our roommate artifacts from the day, while not paying any attention to me. i got pissed off and locked myself into the bathroom. and i'm not sure if this dream continued as a dream of a dream or if it was just a dream. that is, it don't know if i dreamed i was having a nightmare or if i was really having a nightmare. but in any case, i was trying to yell in my sleep, and i was thinking that nick would wake me up from the nightmare, but he never did.

i had a fourth dream that may or may not have been a part of my third dream, but i'm not going to mention it here because it has the potential to do harm.

of course, the theme i'm talking about that united all these dreams was anger. but i think there's a bigger, more covert theme as well, and this is a lesson that life has been trying to teach me for awhile now. we cannot (and should not) depend on others to complete our emotional and spiritual lives. that is, we can't allow our emotional and spiritual well-being to be(come) dependent upon the actions of others.

in other news, i am so happy that we have only three full weeks of school left. we have vacation coming up shortly after school ends! and i'm ready to use the summer to work on my master's, as well as to make plans for our next school year. we tested for most of the week last week, and we took a really great field trip yesterday. it was really cool to have nick along, too! =) (i love my hookie pook!) one of the parents unexpectedly bought me an eco-sphere, and i absolutely love it! cephie got a haircut last week. he looks like such a gay little man, too! i love my cephie! i'm going to go bathe him in little bit. i'll post a pic of him and his new haircut soon!

in the meantime, love, me.