assex

i'm not saying i regret my time with jamie, but i don't.

i wonder what it would be like to be completely honest with myself and those around me.

i'm tired, and it feels good to say it, but i'm not completely sure why. perhaps, so the discomfort is acknowledged. i, i, i.... maybe we'll never know how free it could be to be completely honest with one's self because there's so much shit to sort through that we don't know what's real and what's motherfucking fake.

i loathe the external me. i love the potential me. but i am numb. i don't know how to exterminate the external me without causing damage to the potential me.

i feel a slight pull toward annoyance when the word 'we' comes up. i think a lot of people utter the word just to prove to the world that they're lovable just because they're loved.

i'm tired. i don't feel like working toward the potential me. i made some rules for me for this summer.

• no take-out/fast food
• 30 minutes of exercise per day
• less than the equivalent to one can of pop per day

we got a new bed this weekend. it's a huge bed with a nice memory foam matress. it's the most comfortable thing ever.

oh, yeah. moses had face surgery. and when he got his stitches out, his thing bursted back open. so i had to take him back to the hospital. and they knocked him out again. then they sewed him back up. then they gave me some antibiotics.

i need to get some heartguard shitake. i need a million other things, too.

i want a hot body, a body like jamie's. except he needs a new fucking haircut.

i want to be easy to reach.