it's after 11.30 pm, and most of the normal world is in bed. and this summer is something that i have been looking forward to for months, and there's nothing i can find in it. i don't want to go to bed simply because i have tried really hard today to reserve some energy stores for tonite so that i could stay up and write a paper that's been due for too long. but i want to go to bed. just for the comforts of the comfort my little family provides, proving to the world...or to myself...that there's something to hold onto. (especially when i'm a sucky student who doesn't do his work like a good little grad student.) there's something nice in it for me. i hate having feelings that contradict feelings.