Wandering vs. Wondering

I absolutely love this time of year!  And I'm sitting outside, listening to the crickets, looking at the stars, thinking about all I've done to better my home, and I'm doing this ALONE. And while sitting here, a question slid into my mind. Do I really feel that I don't deserve companionship, and I think that feeling is rooted deeply into my being. And I've got to fix that. I think that's why I'm such a loner. Because I feel that I don't deserve someone beside me. That I don't deserve. That I'm not good enough. And I am. Just the way I am. But I'm evolving. Tomorrow I'll be a better version myself. I will.