always and forever
0
okay, girls. the weather's been awesome lately. fall's my new favorite season, even though winter's just around the corner.
i found two lovelies on amazon.com this morning. they're great gift ideas, if you want to buy me something for jesus's birthday, and if i haven't already bought them myself by that time. number 1. (Ha, ha, ha!) number 2. (sigh.)
myspace helps me feel. last nite i did a search on my high school graduating class, and those people incite a feeling of sadness in me. it's not for whom they've become, but it's because of whom i haven't become. there are fewer than 10 of them listed in the search, and from what i can tell, they're a pretty tight-knit group. i feel sad because they have ties to our childhoods. they've spent their time building independence and families, while i've spent my time trying to establish an identity. i've had to look to find love, and they've all just evolved along with their inherently love-filled relationships. so much of my life, still today, involves keeping my true self hidden away for fear of something bad happening. i want what they all have. i want true, long-term friendships. i want family. i want family. i want family! i want a space that's mine, that actually takes up space in the lives of others. i want to feel like one of a bunch. i want stability.
anyway.... on to what's right. the weather's awesome. have i mentioned that yet? i have all my grades entered. i have my lesson plans ready for the next week or so. the weather's awesome. tori has some newish music coming out on tuesday.
i think i want to write a book. and crochet.
but i don't have that kind of self-discipline.
i found two lovelies on amazon.com this morning. they're great gift ideas, if you want to buy me something for jesus's birthday, and if i haven't already bought them myself by that time. number 1. (Ha, ha, ha!) number 2. (sigh.)
myspace helps me feel. last nite i did a search on my high school graduating class, and those people incite a feeling of sadness in me. it's not for whom they've become, but it's because of whom i haven't become. there are fewer than 10 of them listed in the search, and from what i can tell, they're a pretty tight-knit group. i feel sad because they have ties to our childhoods. they've spent their time building independence and families, while i've spent my time trying to establish an identity. i've had to look to find love, and they've all just evolved along with their inherently love-filled relationships. so much of my life, still today, involves keeping my true self hidden away for fear of something bad happening. i want what they all have. i want true, long-term friendships. i want family. i want family. i want family! i want a space that's mine, that actually takes up space in the lives of others. i want to feel like one of a bunch. i want stability.
anyway.... on to what's right. the weather's awesome. have i mentioned that yet? i have all my grades entered. i have my lesson plans ready for the next week or so. the weather's awesome. tori has some newish music coming out on tuesday.
i think i want to write a book. and crochet.
but i don't have that kind of self-discipline.
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